all consuming

anticipatory emotion, relational emotion, secondary emotion but it consumes me
envy (someone has something you want) vs jealousy (you don’t want to lose what you have to someone else)
i feel like i have no control
is it culturally instilled in us? competitiveness in western culture breeds insecurity, low self esteem, feelings of inadequacy
Fuck Frued
I just wish girls wanted to be friends with me, but I do not want to be forgotten again
I know that jealousy requires a conscious sense of self and understanding of my relationship to others. But do I understand? What is my ego trying to tell me?
why is it that women in relationships direct their ire toward the rival, whereas men direct it toward their partner?